|
Secrets of Success For Inmates Facing
Release
Ned Rollo - OPEN, INC.
Success demands being
adaptable, able to adjust quickly and effectively to new ways of thinking
and acting. Of the many tips useful for
success, here are some at the top of the list:
1> Stop and consider the nature of
CHANGE. Do not fear it or feel the
world has passed you by. Accept the fact that upon release you cannot
"catch up" on or change the past...so let it go! Instead, collect your energy and live in
the NOW!
2> A key to survival is the quality and
speed of your ability to adapt.
So prepare yourself to be flexible, to "bend with the
wind," adjusting to the rapid changes that are a natural part of daily
life in the free world.
3> Do internal housecleaning: look into
every corner of your mind and heart. Whatever is broken, fix it!
Whatever is trash, discard it! Self-honesty and courage are
absolutely essential or you will set yourself up for endless agony.
4> Watch
your thoughts and feelings as they arise.
Observe who and what
you are "weak for." Refuse to surrender: pursue a means to retain
your freedom, self-control and dignity---to own your very soul!
5> In terms of addictions: get clean
and stay clean! Our dependencies
are always our weakest links, so refuse to continue to yield control of
yourself to people, places or things!
Expect to carry this effort forward into the free world and be
prepared to"confront your demons." With each victory, you grow stronger.
6> Constantly re-think and re-examine
your plans; test their practicality, including the elements and length of
time required to achieve them. Do
ongoing reality checks, seeking objective input. Don't be hard-headed; adjust to what IS,
not what you want things to be!
7> Use every day, during and
following captivity, for positive, consistent preparation and growth!
Constantly monitor your stress levels, always striving to improve your
self-control. Keeping control over
your emotions is critical to both survival and success. If you catch yourself "going
nuclear" on friends or strangers, get help immediately!
8> Remind yourself that your goal in
the world is to be trusted, accepted and respected, not feared, avoided and
rejected. Realize that mad-dog attitudes and acts of rage are contrary to
your best interest, so strive to shed prison values like a snake sheds its
skin!
9> Focus on positive relationship
building: credibility is everything!
Remember that the things you most need and want from others can only
come through trust and respect built over time. Make a commitment within
yourself to do whatever is needed to build solid relationships in the
streets and be worthy of people’s good faith. In every case, your word must be your
bond!
10> Get your heart right! Fully expect daily life after prison to
be a great challenge and, at times, to be radically demanding! But realize that by doing battle with the
fear, stress and hardship that naturally come with heavy-duty changes, you
become ever stronger and capable of increased advancement. With this progress comes confidence,
security and pride, which makes it all worthwhile.
11> Ask yourself what the world "owes
you" and then reflect on the truth: "NOTHING!" Then accept the reality that there are NO
magical programs or resources awaiting you as an "ex-con." Redefine yourself as a “person of
worth seeking opportunities to grow” --- you must be your own best
friend and support!!
12> Short pains (anticipation of release)
will not kill you but CAN drive you to do something self-destructive. When you get down to 120 days, find a
hole to hide in, keep your mouth shut, collect your life force and stay
very, very cool! The joint and
everyone in it will "test you" and try to pull you down ... resist
by refusing to surrender control of your mind and emotions!
13> Get and stay right with your people;
do not let the natural stress that collects as you approach the door make
you so crazy that you turn on the few who really love and support you. This can happen before you even see it
coming, so stay alert! If it
does sneak up on you and problems result, take action to mend things
immediately.
14> Upon release, the best way to relate
to your people is by way of "true friendship"...that is, quality
relationships built on honesty, sincerity and deep respect. Let everything begin there and then flow
as it should: never force anything to occur!
15> Organize your mind to allow for two
sets of goals. First is short-term,
which deals with survival over the first five years after release. And long-term,
which deals with quality of life, picking up at five years out and becoming
the focus of the rest of your life.
Understand this: the reason to deal with the first is to get to the
second!
16> Now is the time to prepare yourself
for the influence of your "criminal history" on the rest of your
life. It is never truly
"over" so it is essential to learn how to best "manage"
the wide range of results from having been found guilty of one or more
crimes. Acknowledge the “reality”
of the past but refuse to be its slave: GROW!
17> Build on a foundation of truth and
fact, not falsehood and illusion. Above all, be patient because there are
no instant solutions, only small but important steps toward gradual
completion. The good news is that each rewarding new day of freedom
replaces one day of the sorrow and isolation of captivity. Thus one day the present will outweigh
the past … and you will be truly FREE.
18> Fully
expect daily life after prison to be a great challenge and at times
radically demanding! Focus on the most immediate problem first, deal with
it and then move on to the next. Be encouraged by any and all progress
because small steps add up, they are the true building blocks of your
expanding success!
19> Most of what you want from life after
prison requires five years of intense determination and hard work. Not just five years of freedom, but five
years of arrest-free living!
This means 60 full moons of accumulated insight, growth and
progress. So your goal is to
celebrate five years free and clear of the criminal justice system and now
is a perfect time to expand your will and ability to get there.
20 The game cannot be beat --- everything
must be earned!! The secret is
to put one foot in front of the next and never stop. To do this requires, before all else, faith
and determination!! Faith in
yourself, in the promise of a better day, and in your ability to create a
rewarding path. And then the determination to pay whatever price is
required to achieve progress and its rewards. Know this: it is worth the effort!
21> So, as you face the quest for success
after prison and through the rest of your life, remind yourself of three
things: "It CAN be done, it is worth doing and I can do
it!"
Copyright
V.N. Rollo, Jr. 2001 (rev. 10/08/02)
|
